At different point in time, you will have to negotiate. At times, you have an opinion and the other two persons have different opinions, which are different from yours. You may have to negotiate the best option that benefits everyone. That's the importance of negotiation in our interpersonal relationships.
Negotiation is a form of communication. To get optimum result, you need some skills in order to improve your bargaining power.
BUILD RAPPORT
The basis of rapport is that when people are like each other, they like each other. When people are not like each other, they don't like each other. When you are negotiating, you can achieve more when you are liked by the other party.
The first major element of rapport is to match the other person's modality. If the other party is emotionally down, and you are in an excited state, there will be an emotional block in your conversation.
Have you ever felt bad when you approach someone in an excited state, and the person 'barks' at you in return? That's an emotional block. To be an effective negotiator, the first thing you do is to put yourself in the other person's state. That way you will be able to feel the way he/she feels, and then rapport is built. The aftermath is that you both will flow.
The second element of rapport is the physical mirroring of the individuals physiology. People who are getting on tend to mirror each other's body language. That is, they tend to sit or stand as if one person is a mirror image of the other. This matching happens unconsciously,. However, you can do it deliberately.
Engaging in deep and productive conversation with someone can be achieved by building rapport.. It is good to know that anything you do at the negotiation table will increase or decrease your bargaining power. Here are some rapport-breakers that can reduce your bargaining power:
Using formal speak
In everyday conversation, if one speaks formally at all times, it hinders the flow of communication. It breaks rapport. You are formally dressed, and the negotiation venue is a formal one. So you don't have to necessarily speak formally. The emphasis is that you should not be too formal in your conversation. Just open up. Use everyday English. Do not use words that the other party might misunderstand. (You don't expect him/her to keep a dictionary beside).
Doing their thinking for them
Do not jump to conclusion by completing a sentence for the other party. It is unethical to do that. Fact is, you don't know what the other party is thinking. Don't conclude quickly, probe to get the facts.
Not Listening
Have you ever prepared your speech before talking to your staff, that you are too engrossed in your speech that you do not care to hear what he or she is saying? It is easy to do that. If you want your request to be granted, you better l;isten to what the other party is saying.
Listen as if the other party is the only person in the world. If you care to listen to him/her, he/she will tell you what you need to know. When you listen to someone, you will also be listened to.
My purpose is not tell you all there is to know about being a good negotiator, but to get you thinking. Have a lovely week ahead.
Agbolade runs interpersonal Skills Trainings for corporate organisations.
E-mail:nigeriaslifecoach@gmail.com
Blog:www.101youngentrepreneurs.blogspot.com
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