When you ask the right questions, you will get the right answers. Problems exist in numbers because someone is not asking a question. Sir Isaac Newton, while under a tree, an Apple gave him a knock on his head asked himself the question: “Why did this Apple fall to the ground and not suspend in the air?” Afterwards, he discovered the law of Gravity.
Albert Einstein asked himself a question when he was in high school, and got the answer at the age of 27. The answer, today, is called the law of relativity. Why not dare to ask yourself a question that will take you to the next level in your career? If you ask the right question, you will get the right answer.
A single question can change your perception. During a coaching session, I asked my client “What is important now?” He wanted me to coach him on presentation skills. But after asking him the right question, he cam up with a different thought. He had a lot of money that are idle. He had no investment whatsoever. So I coached him on investments. If I had not asked the right question, I would have missed the opportunity to help him focus on the finer aspect of his life-his finance.
Probing is the act of asking the right questions. The fact is that you have answered life’s questions before the age of ten. Your answers are stored in your mental rule book which you access subconsciously, or unconsciously. Psychologists tell us that “The little boy you once were, you still are.”
Probing helps to access someone sub conscious mind. “I am imagining what you really want in life; I would be glad if you can tell me why you are here; I am wondering what you will do if you have all the money you want, recognition and all your heart desires.” I use these questions to help my clients know what they really want in their life. If you are not living the life of your dreams, you are not asking yourself the right questions.
We have stereotypes which are generalizations. Some of these generalizations may be false. There is a generalization that you have to work smarter and not harder. This may be false. You have to work harder and smarter.
Question anything you are told. Do not cut corners or disobey the authority, but ask questions. Before doing anything, ask yourself the right question. Why am I working here? Am I supposed to be here now? What is the best thing to do now? What should I be doing with my life now? Why am I going to that school? If you do not ask yourself the right questions, chances are, you will get the wrong answer.
When probing, understand that there are two types of questions. Closed questions invite a simple answer. “Did you send a copy of the proposal to the human resource manager?” This question invites a simple answer. It checks what is in your mind. Open questions invite an elaborate answer. “What is it about our competitors that were so special?” This question invites an elaborate answer. It checks what is in their mind.
Probing causes the other person to think about what you want them to think about. If you have a sound idea, instead of telling them directly, you can make them think about it by asking the right question.
Probing keeps you in control of the pace and direction of the conversation. Most people are pre-programmed to answer questions. Decades of experience with parents and school teachers has taught us that when we are asked a question, we should answer it.
That said, when probing, though the other person is the one doing most of the talking, you, you are in control of both the pace and direction of the conversation.
Ask questions for clarification. You can misinterpret what the other person is saying. You have different back ground; have different frame of reference, and education. To be on the same wavelength, ask clarifying questions. You can use the words”…do you mean…”to be sure you understand the other person.
Life is full of secrets. You can not learn them all at once. You have to ask the right questions to get the right answers in life. Question stereotypes and generalizations. Ask open questions to get a broader answer.
Agbolade Omowole runs Interpersonal Skills Trainings for corporateorganizations. He trains for Terry E. Gillen, Institute of Personneland Development UK. He is also a financial adviser at Aims Asset Management Limited.
Contact:
E-mail: nigeriaslifecoach@gmail.com
phone: 08020777803 (+248020777803)
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